But sometimes I’m sorry for being a good listener.
I’m a quiet person, which means that when I have something to say, it’s either important, relevant, insightful, or has some kind of purpose and intent. It also means that I’ve thought about what I was going to say before the words ever left my mouth.
I’m introverted, which means I keep to myself. I don’t burden others by sharing information they could care less about. It also means that when I do open up to someone about something it’s because they’ve earned my trust and respect and I feel confident in confiding in them.
I’m guarded, which means my walls are up around strangers, people I’ve just met, and people I’m getting to know. People like you have hurt me before, and I’m not holding any grudges from the past against you, but I’m aware of how you operate and I’ve learned from my mistakes.
Lastly, I’m perceptive. While everyone is running their mouth, I’m taking note of things like the fluctuation of tones within the conversation and body language. It means I read people- not judge them- and it’s how I gauge my actions and words.
If I’m engaged in conversation with someone and it flows naturally and I’m at ease the entire time, it means that there’s a kind of chemistry between us- even if it’s on the basic level of human interaction. If I’m bored and edgy and nearly cross with you, it’s probably because I don’t care about the last time you were at some house party and got totally wasted and the cops came and you were so drunk you threw up in your friend’s shirt.
I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t always open up easily to people I’ve known forever, let alone to people I’ve only just met. I’m not sorry if I bore you or if you find me uninteresting. If I’m worth the trouble it causes a person- one who actually wants to get to know me- to take initiative and inquire about and listen to what I have to say, then I have truly met my match.
Sometimes I’m tired of listening to other people who talk mainly for the sake of hearing their own voice. Yes, there are times when I could learn to loosen up, but I shouldn’t be judged instantly for not being talkative.
I’m sorry few people ever want to hear what I have to say, and care.